Saturday, November 24, 2007

TOW Disturbed Mind and Restless Soul

Lately, I just feel restless and very unorganized.. probably because of my long sick leave that really makes me uneffective, thus I feel very empty and stupid and disturbed sometimes. When this kind of feelings reached the peak, I can easily get tensed and tend to get angry easily and scold people unnecessarily. Now that's bad.. and I really hate those. As me and my friend drove the army camp in Sg Besi, I can't stop thinking of the reason why.. I think this is because I'm so bored staying at home, can't do things on my own, can't drive around, can't do my usual stuff, i.e. lepak2 at mamak or jogging in the evening, or going to the gym, or even go to the waterfall or any other recreational places. What I don't like most is I have to depend on my friends to drive me around when I need to go somewhere, or buy something.. and that's a big No No for me to burden people with my problems. Even I refused when my parents asked me to stay at their home for them to take care of me, and I would rather be like this as long as I don't make their life difficult. But i guess, the will to be alone is so high that I dont find peace in myself though. Nothing like the relaxing environment of the army camp in Sg Besi while we were driving around. U can still see children at large playing at the playground, children in bicycle cycling in a gang.. and adults gather around for lepak2 together. Nice feelings!I hafta start working this coming monday. Though I'm not that strong yet to start working back, but the office needed me so much that I hafta sacrifice these, as long as it won't hurt me in the end. Hope those feelings will dissapear soon enough.. Hope I'm gonna be fine...

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